Releasing Resilience
from Rev. Darrick Jackson, Director of Ministries for Lifelong Learning
I am tired of being resilient. It is hard enough navigating society as a Black Gay male. Then add to it climate change and pandemics; daily life is exhausting. I understand that sometimes things occur that call us to draw on our resilience, but it should not be a way of life. It is not helpful or healthy for us to be in a constant state of struggle. Eventually, it takes a toll on our mental, emotional, and physical health.
In August 2022, NPR’s Life Kit had an episode entitled, “Why you should stop complimenting people for being ‘resilient’.” It was an interview with therapist Lourdes Dolores Follins, who shared that resilience comes out of the institutions of slavery and colonization. Although framed as an expression of liberation, resilience is actually a tool of oppression. It praises us for succeeding against adversity without addressing whether that adversity should exist in the first place. Lourdes asks us to change our relationship with resilience and ask, “what can we do to change these things that people have experienced? What can we do to get rid of sexism? What can we do to get rid of homonegativity (ph)? What can we do to get rid of ableism? What can we do to get rid of economic deprivation? What can we do to get rid of all the things that force people to be resilient?”
And so, this year, I want to release resilience. I want to reshape and reframe the conversation so that we are not talking about how resilient we are, but what are the issues and systems that cause us to be resilient and how we can fix those issues and systems. I want us to move away from the idea that we must survive as individuals and, instead, thrive through our communities.
I pray that we may all be in a place where we can live our lives fully, just as we are, without constant threats to our lives.
Spirit of Hope, Defiant Goddess, Caring God,
In the face of adversity,
Open our hearts.
So that we may name the hurt and the pain
And then release them
Into the loving embrace of community.
Surround us with care,
So that when we fall,
we will be lifted up and carried forward.
Holy ones,
Help us to move from resilience to resistance.
Focusing not on what makes us strong
But on removing the systems that oppress us.
So that we may live,
Fully.
Not existing, but thriving
Blessed Be
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